So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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