i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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