that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
