No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I AM VODKA MAN
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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