The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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