the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
