Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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