I think my vagina is haunted
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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