booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
