Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
