well I can't set my house on fire every night
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
