I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
