Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
