go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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