He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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