How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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