a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize