i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we made out on top of his cat.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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