I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize