After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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