Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Please don't give away my fajitas
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
