Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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