why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Do vagina's smell?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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