the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I wish there were birth control emojis
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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