that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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