carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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