I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
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