i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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