Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't want my vagina anymore.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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