How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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