You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
