i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
