She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
