I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
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Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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