Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize