Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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