i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
