I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
