textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
home. puking in laundry basket.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize