It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
