OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Randomize
