those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
