My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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