I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
