so let's talk penis.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
