Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
