Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize