he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
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