you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
