Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
