OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
