Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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