i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
