A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
