It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
