Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You are the jesus of drinking
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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