Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
