I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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