He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she told me i tasted like america
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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