winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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