Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
