p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
