I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
