After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
